From: Min Huang Date: 4/27/2012
character was influenced by three strong women, his mother, grandmother and wife, especially his mother. At Q&A session, a mom expressed that child having a strong mother sometime might not a good thing such as strong mother like Tiger mom.
Bonnies seized the moment and shared her view on this question. She understood parents so well that her answer hit the point. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans here as you will read Bonnie’s comment in the event report soon.
What I have learned about the influence that Obama’s strong mother on him is that rather than controlling, she instilled his son with strong value and helped his son build strong mind.
Here, I would like to share my humble view on “What strong mom I would like to be?”
I would like to grow myself to be a better person before I would become a better mom;
I would like to learn to be a better mom by utilizing all the available resources, such as books, seminars, other parents;
I would like to form my own parenting principles and practices with the knowledge I learn and wisdom I gain through all the resources and experiences, rather than follow others and try to find the short-cut or quick-fix;
I would like to develop a strong conviction on my parenting principles and hold the ground when giving in to my son’s request seems the easiest way out;
I would like to be a good listener and empathic to my son’s emotion and need and tell him the rationale behind my decision while I am holding my ground;
I would like to convey my messages to my son without losing my cool when the volcano inside of me wants to erupt, by doing so I model how to practice EQ in daily life;
I would like to show my son that being strong mom doesn’t mean controlling or imposing one’s will, or constantly hovering over child and try to smooth even the slightest bump on child’s road, rather it is about empowering my son with embracing his uniqueness and accepting who he is, believing in him, be patient with him, giving him room to grow, allowing his missteps and helping him to learn from them, encouraging him to have growth-mind, taking the risk, trying new things, thinking differently, being authentic to himself;
I would like to show that a real strong person should have loving and compassionate heart;
I would like to teach my son the good values as I strongly believe it is important to help him to lead a good life.
The most I would like to show to my son is how much I love him, to tell him how much joy he has given to me, how much I cherish the beautiful life we are building for each other!
That is what strong mom I would like to be.
Enjoy learning and enjoying parenting!
In 2009, I posted below to the forum
Dare to be different - celebrate our uniqueness
Below is the excerpt of my sharing related to Obama’s mom influence on him:
I have been reading Obama’s autobiography, “Dream From My Father” and “The Audacity of Hope” and other books about Obama, and am fascinated not only by his compelling personal story, his brilliantly run campaign, his eloquence, his charisma, his introspectiveness, among the most is his true to his values. Just within years, he has arisen from an unknown community organizer to become the president of the United States – the most powerful position on the earth. What had made him to become who he is? What can we learn from it? Of course, there are many facts that would contribute to his success. I was more interested to know what his parent’s influence on him. It was Obama’s mother who played the most vital role in shaping the crux of his character. Indeed, the extreme importance of his mother’s part in forming Obama’s character perhaps didn’t even strike Obama himself until after she passed away. In order to prepare the enviable racial challenge and social disadvantage that her son will be facing, Obama’s mother wanted him to take pride in his side of his racial heritage. So she pushed on him books about Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement leaders. She filled him with stories of accomplishments by African-American heroes. She told him that “To be black was to be the beneficiary of great inheritance, a special destiny, glorious burdens that only were strong enough to bear.” It is his mother’s strong believe that instilled into Obama which not only made him feel comfortable with his race, but also feel pride about it and mostly important, during his struggle to find his identity, he found the purpose of his life --- to empower the poor for the equal rights and social justice and make the world a better place. His unique biracial, peripatetic childhood has later turned out to be the great asset for him, personally and politically – he does not see things in black and white, he truly believe there are common greatness reside on each one of us, his desire and ability to build consensus among different viewpoints has become his trade mark, a more empathy way to view the issues, a desire and ability to find the common ground and bridge the gap. Obama told a Chicago Tribune reporter that his mother’s influence was ever-present in his life. And it is apparent form private and public conversations with him that he set his moral compass not only from his reading of Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther king Jr. and the Bible but from his mother’s guidance. Said Obama:”She was always very present and would be your biggest cheerleader and your best friends and had sort of complete confidence in the fact that you were special in some fashion. And so, as consequence, there was no shortage of self-esteem”