第38期活动回顾 October 22, 2006

The 38th PCE Club Monthly event marked another success for sharing and improving parenting skills. The event was hosted by Dennis Wu and coached by Bonnie Liao.� As usual, the children presented a wonderful show to the audience during the event Talent Show session.� PCE is also planning to introduce the performance manner training before the talent show so the kids can learn and show at the same time. The parenting session is featured Dr. Tobias's speech on emotional intelligent and Dr. Liao guided the discussion. A wealth of information on family and children emotional intelligence was exchanged.

Here are a few for your reference:

An Information Measure of Family Members' Emotional Intelligence

To assess your emotional intelligence and that of your children, ask yourself the following questions:
My emotional intelligence:
1. How well do I know my own feelings? How well do I know the feelings of my family? Think of a recent problem in the family. How were you feeling, or your children, or others involved in the problem?
2. How much empathy do I have for others? Do I express it to them? When was the last time I did this? Am I sure they are aware if what I am doing? Am I able to understand another's point of view even during the argument?
3. How do I cope with anger, anxiety, and other stresses? Am I able to maintain self-control when stressed? How do I behave after a hard day? How often do I yell at others? When are my best and worst times, and do these vary on different days?
4. What goals do I have for myself and my family? What plans do I have for achieving them?
5. How do I deal with problematic, everyday, interpersonal situations? Do I really listen to others? Do I reflect back to people what they
are saying? Do I approach social conflict in a thoughtful manner? Do I consider alternatives before deciding on a course of action?

My child's emotional intelligence:
1 How well can my child verbalize feelings? If I ask her how she feels, can she response with a feeling word, or does she tell me what happened? Can my child identify a range of feelings with gradations in between? Can my child identify feelings in the others?
2. How does my child show empathy? When was the last time he seemed to relate to another's feelings? Does he show interest in other's feelings? When I tell him stories about others' misfortunes, how does
he react? Can he understand different points of view? Can he see both sides of an argument? Can he do this when in the midst of a conflict?
3. Can my child wait to get what she wants, especially when it is something she really wants? Can my child wait to get something that is right there in front of her, but that she can't have now? How well can she tolerate frustration? How does she express anger and other negative feelings?
4. What goals does my child have? What goals would I like her to have? Does my child ever plan things out before doing something? Have I ever helped her develop a plan for achieving a goal?
5. How does my child resolve conflict? How independent is he in resolving conflicts? Does he listen, or turn others off? Can he think of different ways of resolving conflicts?

For both of yourself and your children, think about areas of strength, the areas you and they are really good at. Give yourself a pat on the back for having these - we mean it! --and praise your children for
theirs, as soon as you can. Also think about areas of potential change you would like to focus on. Think of what times of day you are most likely to show these skills, and when you are less likely to show
them. These patterns are very important, because we help ourselves when we try to swim with the current, as opposed to going against it. You may find you are not sure of some of the answers to the questions
we pose. This is more common then not, because we are asking parents to think about things a little differently from the ways they are used to thinking about them. One way to get some answers is to videotape a (non-offensive) sitcom and then watch it with your child. Or read a story to your child. At various points in the tape or story, pause and discuss the following:

How the main character is feeling?
How the other characters are feeling and what they are thinking?
How your child feels about the characters' feelings?
What the different characters' goals are, and what your child thinks the characters' plan might be?
How your child thinks the characters handled a situation?
What your child thinks was good about how the characters handle the situation, and what the characters could have done better?

Don't be surprises if, the first few times, your child has difficulty responding, or even has a negative response. The exercise could help to provide you with opportunities and experiences in the course of everyday parenting to help your children develop the skills to answer these questions not only for stories, but also for real life. What this requires on your part is Emotional Intelligent Parenting.

PCE club would like to thank all of you who attended this event and hope you all enjoyed the learning experience. To learn more about PCE Club information, please check the website, www.pceclub.org. You can
sign up for the free email list at joinpceclub@pceclub.org to be informed about the ongoing parenting hot topics and events. If you have more questions on this event, please send an email to registration@pceclub.org. Hope to see you all again next month.

Warm regards,

Cindy Yu
On behalf of all PCE Club Volunteers

十月十四日晚上，父母子女俱乐部在亚洲文化中心如期举行第三十八次活动。这次活动由Dennis Wu和俞心怡组织.向往常一样, 这次晚会是由孩子们的精彩才艺表演开始的.
在第三次俱乐部年会上, 到会的父母们极度热情地聆听和探讨了培养教育高情商孩子. 第三十八次活动上, 没有机会参加上次讨论的, 和没有机会完成讨论的俱乐部成员有机会在屏幕上次聆听著名的心理学家演讲人 DR. STEVEN TOBIAS的讲话. 廖冰博士对情商教育的深刻见解给大家的讨论带来了新的内容. 为了帮助父母来衡量家庭成员的情商, 大家还探讨了DR. STEVEN TOBIAS的EMONTIONAL INTELLIGENT PARENTING书里列出了一系列的问题. 这些问题不止包括针对孩子们的, 还有针对父母的. 父母能够认识到自己的情商程度是帮助孩子成长的关键之一. 各位如有兴趣找到这些问题者请到父母子女教育俱乐部的网站查询.

另外, 父母子女教育俱乐部正在征集老师和专家为父母和孩子办更精彩的情商培训.有意者, 请跟我们联系.

父母子女教育俱乐部将在2006年11月18日举办第三十九期活动.时间：2006年11月18日6:30-9:30pm. 地点：Asian Cultural Enterprises Center，1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可电邮至registration@pceclub.org, 或电话联系: 张颖婷：***-***-7731。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站www.pceclub.org 或注册我们的免费通讯录可电邮joinpceclub@pceclub.org. (俞心怡供稿)